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Stop Lying To Yourself with these 9 Lies

Updated: Aug 27, 2022

Tips & 3 Action Steps!

One day, you'll be the judge, of every one of your silly lies!

I am sure most of us consider ourselves to be honest people. Outside of the odd white lie, we find it difficult to lie to our friends and loved ones. This makes it all the more confusing then, that we sometimes find it so easy to lie to ourselves.

You might have bristled at this thought, maybe even huffed, and thought,

"I do no such thing!" Well, we do!

The pop culture character, Clarice Starling from the Silence of the Lambs by Tomas Harris, comes to mind. Maybe that’s because I watched an episode from the

TV series last night, I don’t know. It’s very loosely inspired by the book series that I am as big a fan as I am of the movies. And I am pleased to say love the TV series as well. In the TV series, Clarice grapples with childhood memories that seem to contradict some of the stories of her life that she has always been telling herself.

Pop culture is full of examples of characters that seem to find it easy to lie to themselves. Greek mythology, and even Shakespeare, dramatizes this to great effect.

We love these tales because it resonates with us. It is a deeply human thing to lie to yourself. Most examples are innocent. From simple blind spots we have about ourselves, or distortions we have about our bodies or beauty. But sometimes it runs a little deeper than that.

The nine lies below are common lies we tell ourselves. Sometimes they are harmless, but often they hold us back from reaching our goals.


1. " I'll Get to It Eventually "

How many times have you told yourself this, then failed to "get to it"? If you are like most of us, then the answer is simple: “Plenty of times!”

To stop doing that, it is much better to set a specific deadline for all of your tasks. Alternatively, you could just do it now.

2. " I Can't Escape my Past "

Many of us have skeletons in our closets. Or at the very least, we’ll have trauma that we never properly deal with. That accumulate over time. And gets hidden in a closet in the back of our minds.

The reality is you can get over your past. You need to be brave. To open that closet. Take out an item. Only one item at a time, though. Dust that element off. And do something about it.

Sometimes this means learning something new about you. Sometimes it just means acknowledging its presence in your past, and knowing you cannot change anything about it. Or the past. Or yourself. Because sometimes that thing just happened and there’s nothing to learn from it, and there is nothing to do because of it.

That is how you get to the point where your past doesn't define you. You might have to work a little harder or work on yourself. But you can get beyond your past.

3. " I'm a Failure "

This is big one. While all of us will deal with failure at one time, that does not make us failures. Failure is something we deal with; it isn't something we are.

If you feel like a born loser that always fails, try to focus on your wins. We all have some wins in our lives, no matter how small they may seem. Also, failing is good - it is the best way to learn about yourself.

4. " There is Something Wrong With Me "

And have you ever felt like such a failure that you assume there must be something wrong with you? Sure you have – it happens to all of us.

But it doesn’t change the fact of life, that this really is nothing but a powerful lie that we tell ourselves. “There’s something wrong with me.” It’s such a terrible lie. One that can hold us back from even trying to accomplish our goals.

You are different. You are struggling. Sometimes you even fail. These are circumstances. It’s not who you inherently are as a person. So stop telling yourself there’s something wrong with you. And it won’t have the power to hold you back any longer.

5. " I Know Exactly What I am Doing "

Self-confidence is a powerful tool in your arsenal. Sometimes it even helps to fake confidence! That said, we need to be careful not to go overboard. Because sometimes, that goal you fail to reach is unreachable. Not because it is an unrealistic goal. But only because you don’t know what you don’t know.

There is nothing wrong with being honest and knowing that you need some help because you don't know what you are doing. For example, you may not know what you must know to get that promotion. Or to make your financial goals a reality. Or you fail to know what your smallest lifestyle tweaks should be that could help you reach your health goal the fastest and most sustainably.

When you don’t know it all, you go the mile to find out more. That way you learn something new. You grow. You reach your goal.

6. " I Would be Happy If Only... "

I know it's easy to focus on what you want. Or to focus on what you think you need for happiness. But it rarely works out that way.

Even if you get that thing that you think you need to be happy, you will end up just moving the goalposts further. Because you will think about something else again that you think will make you happy.

You need to figure out how to be happier on your terms and in your current circumstances.

Sure, if there are circumstances that must change, focus on that and make the change. But for the most part, we need to stop lying to ourselves that we’d be happy “if only <fill the blank>”.

7. " I am Too Busy to <fill the blank> "

While this is true sometimes, and especially true for people who are working and raising a family, a lot of the time, it isn't true. Downtime is important, but almost all of us waste time in some fashion.

Take an honest appraisal of your day, and you will likely find some extra time to spare.

8. " I Can Change Him/Her "

I bet a couple of you are nodding in agreement about this one! Many of us have this moment where we meet someone we like, but they are toxic to be around. You think that with enough love and caring, you can change this person. We always find out that we can't. It isn't even our job to try and change someone else.

That's on them.

9. " I'm Too Old To <fill the blank> "

The other day, my 14-year-old said he was too old to do something he wanted to do. We never felt older that we do now. The reality is, no matter our age, we can still do almost anything we want. Even as we age.

It's never too late to go back to school or change career, for example. It's not too late to take chances. It's never too late for you to try and live the life you dream of. Stop lying to yourself because age is just a number.


Here's 3 action steps that you can take. See how you can expand it on your own:


Suggested Further by Reading

Check out these gems available on Amazon. Note that Woodbridge Hypnosis earns from your qualifying purchases. And to earn from your qualifying purchase, I make a little effort to curate the list, find the image and text for your ease of browsing. I trust you find this in order. However, these books may be available at your local bookstore or library. And if not, find anything else that may be on topic!

Open the list to find out more about each. Click the link to buy it on Amazon.

1. Lies We Tell Ourselves: The Psychology of Self-Deception

Humans are excellent liars. We don’t like to think of ourselves as capable of lying; it hurts us too much to admit. So we lie to ourselves about that, too.

As a clinical psychologist, I am regularly confronted with the brutal truth that we all lie. I am not talking about deliberate, bold-faced lying. No, this type of dishonesty is far harder to detect and admit. It is the kind of lying that comes from not being psychologically strong enough to be honest with ourselves about who we are. And I believe that it is our biggest obstacle to living a fulfilling life.

I wrote this book for anyone interested in becoming more honest. In it, I present a range of self-deceptive examples couched in psychological theory to help us explore ourselves. Although it is a relatively short book—intended to be read in about an hour—I hope that the content provokes deep thought. For only when are honest about who we really are do we have the opportunity to change.

2. The Lies We Tell Ourselves: Face the Truth, Accept Yourself

3. Vital Lies, Simple Truths: The Psychology of Self-Deception

4. The Lies We Tell Ourselves: Vulnerability as a Tool

5. I'm Special: And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves


These are small action steps that you can start in your life today. I am very passionate about our innate ability to change in small ways. We hate change, but we all want transformation. Check out my e-Book, Transformation, that you can buy here.

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